I Forgot I Was Playing Ko

This game taught me a few things which I will enumerate.

However, first off let me say that I am not a fan of playing ko. I generally do what I can to avoid ko. I know that this is a weakness of mine that I should work on. I've played ko when it was forced upon me, but I don't think I have ever knowingly started a ko in the past.

I did knowingly start this ko out of necessity, and I believed that I could win it. I counted up my ko threats and I knew when I was going to finish the ko. I waited eagerly for my opponent's next move after my last ko threat was exhausted. I was able to be so sure of this because I had the time to think that a live game does not afford.

Before I show the particulars of the game, let me list the things I have learned:

1. When playing correspondence games remember to look at the whole board before playing. Do not look only at the local situation. (Do not forget you are playing ko.)
2. Do not invest emotionally in a game. It is just one of many.
3. Don't get angry. The English speaking go world is small, and opponents are not disposable. Be nice.
4. The special circumstances of any one game do not make it okay to ask for an undo if you are philosophically opposed to undo except in cases of obvious miss clicks which can happen in live play.

Let's see how this all started.

I am black.

My group on the left was still open toward the center, but it was on the small side. I decided to make at least one sente move with a13. I expected my opponent to play at a14. Instead he played at c12. After determining that I could endure the resulting atari I extended into the white territory in the upper right.

I eventually made two rooms with b10. This group would later offer white a ko threat. 

The game progressed. I made a grab for a big end game sente move by playing at m18.

My opponent ignored my move and played h8 to threaten the single stone at g8.  I knew that the single stone was small, and  I played k18 to jump into white’s territory. White answered at k17. Then I made a mistake as critical as white’s tenuki. I jumped to h18 instead of playing nobi to j18. I saw it immediately, but I wasn’t going to ask for an undo. We had each made a critical mistake, and a ko was definitely on the way.

White pushed at L18 as expected. I played under it to L19. White gave atari at j18. Before setting up the ko I played at h15 to make the two black stones at h14 and g15 useful. I might actually catch nine stones. The atari was indeed sente. White had to answer.

Edit: A comment from the Facebook Go group provided this variation that eliminates the need for ko altogether. This is beautiful.

Edit: Someone else suggested that since I missed the move at j16, I should have saved h15 as a ko threat, and should have started the ko immediately.

White did answer at j16. I set up the ko with j19, and white initiated the ko with k19.

By my estimation I had three ko threats, all of which were against the p13 group. I played to threaten to cut the group with q10.

White responded at q11. I retook the ko. White threatened my left side group with a10, which I had anticipated. 

Edit: It turns out that a10 is no threat at all. The worst that white can do is make seki, so I should have resolved the ko right then and there instead of answering white’s “threat” I was told about this in the Go group on Facebook.

I responded to white’s threat at a9. White retook the ko. I then used my second ko threat at s10 which threatens to destroy white’s second eye.

White answers at r10, and I retake the ko. White makes a threat at n4. If I did not have another good threat I think I could afford to ignore this threat because the two groups it would threaten could line independently. However, since I had another powerful threat I chose to answer.

I decided that the best response was at n3. White retook the ko and I played my last viable threat at t8.

White answered my threat by taking at t10. I retook the ko. Then the waiting began. I waited and waited and waited for what seemed like an eternity. In the mean time I was playing other correspondence games. I had every intention of ignoring any ko threat white would make, but that is not the way it went.

I remember vividly that I was sitting on my front porch enjoying the outdoors with my iPad in my lap. A blizzard of games came up. I responded to them quickly, in uncharacteristic fashion for me. This game was the last in the series of games. I looked at the local situation, evaluated it, and answered the threat unaware that the game I was playing was the one I was so anxiously awaiting. Big mistake. I answered at s14.

Emotions ran high. I realized my mistake immediately, and did something I never do. I asked for an undo, and explained why I was asking for it. I was ashamed to admit that I had forgotten the game I was playing. Apparently my opponent had taken his move before he saw my text. He explained later that he would have granted the undo if he had seen it in time, which was very nice of him.

His comment, however, was ambiguous as it was, “Sorry. Saw it too late”, which I interpreted to mean that I had seen my mistake too late, rather than that he had seen my request too late. I saw red, and responded with, “Fine. If that’s the way you want to be.” I then proceeded angrily with the rest of the game until we chatted at the end, and it became clear what he had actually meant by his comment. Chat is so easily misunderstood.

With the undo not granted I considered resigning, but I knew that was rash and immature. It was more immature than even asking for the undo. Besides, it was still a game, and it ended up being only a 7.5 loss. It turned out to be even on the board at the end. White won only by komi.

The move I played was at e17. (See above) It was not meant to be a ko threat. I knew he would finish the ko. I thought I might have a chance to live on the left side. AI likes N7 (above) and showed a variation I will not bother you with here. AI knew he would finish the ko too. These screen captures were taken after the game was over. No AI was consulted during the game.

Above AI told me what I already knew about my move at s14. I should have taken the ko. Yeah. Rub it in, AI.

AI did not like white’s response at m19 either, preferring the take at h19, probably because of the aji of my move at e17.

I struggled to live in the upper left, but failed. Here is the final position. AI recommends filling dame, probably because we are playing with AGA rules. I could have snatched three points I guess.

This was a loss by 7.5, which is an even result on the board. White wins by komi. It was a good game. I’m glad I finished it, and that I spoke with my opponent at the end.

When I went back to review the game I saw that my opponent had suggested a rematch but wanted to know if I wanted it with undos or without. I responded that I wanted it without undos because I am philosophically opposed to undos on principle, and that I had learned my lesson. I then told him that I was planning a blog post about our game. 

The game can be found here.

Any comments are appreciated.

OGS Game With Fred8 Reviewed by Cornel Burzo

You can find this review here.

One of the things I like about OGS correspondence games is that sometimes you end up chatting a bit with your opponent and making friends. Such is the case with Fred8. We have played three games together so far, the last of which I was able to win. This is that game.  It was a fairly close game, throughout,  but he appears to have lost a bit of concentration near the end. Therefore, I was able to take the lead.

We finished this game yesterday, and much to my surprise, the review was up on YouTube this morning. I found a link to it on Facebook and watched it with pleasure with my morning coffee.

I enjoy Cornel’s review style. He explains clearly, covers a lot, and goes slowly enough that I can follow without pausing the video. I like that. I will be watching it again along with others of Fred8 so I might get more familiar with his style. 

Fred8 and I are working on our fourth game together already. I fully expect to lose this next one, but I shall try my best to give him an interesting game.

Love a Nice Resignation

My next blog post was supposed to be about the shame of forgetting that I was playing ko. However, I got a really nice resignation today, so I am going to celebrate that here.

This is the final board position. I’ve got to admire someone who knows when to move on to the next game. Though I, myself, have been known to struggle.

I have killed the large white group in the lower right. Let’s see how this started.

It started with a peep. I was not sure I could get that group, but I was going to go after it. I figured that the move was at least sente, and once it was answered, the stone at p6 would be light.

After another peep at n8, and a few exchanges in the o13 area, I enclosed the group with a move at o10. It still wasn’t  a sure thing, and did have potential to connect to the center stones, but the attack was looking better.

A couple of moves later I played at n10 to avoid a cut. I was getting more hopeful. It would prove to be fun if nothing else.

A few exchanges later and the group was completely cut off. Now it was a matter of seeing whether White could live. I believed I could make the eye at the top of the group false with a play at p9 if I got to play there first.

White tried to increase eye space with the hane at r1. The throw in at s1 felt right, and so that is how I responded.

White followed with s4, after which I did hane at t4. White’s cut at s7, followed by my Atari at s8, brought us to the end of the game.

If you have read this far, thank you. The full game can be found on OGS here if anyone is interested in seeing how things began.

Painful Realization That I Could Have Reversed A Close Game

I have used this blog as a means of memorializing some of the things I have done right. Today I am going to memorialize something that I missed. My opponent must have missed it too, or she would not have made a move I could have punished severely.

We are both taking group lessons with Hwang In-seong, and are in the same league. We have moved up and down together through the leagues in the past three months.

Here is the end position of our game from Thursday night.

I am White. Black won this game by 6.5

It was a close game I would like to have won, but I was happy for Black. We have had a bit of a rivalry going on for a few months. Although I believe that she is a stronger player than I, up to this point I had won all three of our games in the league. It was something I knew I could not maintain, but it was hanging in the air, and it was nice to have the tension over,

In-seong had many interesting points to make about our game, but the first thing he showed us blew both of our minds. White could have easily reversed this game.

It turned out that 31 is a mistake. 

It turns out that my response at “a” is an even bigger mistake.

The throw in works! YES! The throw in works!

White throws in. Black takes. White gives Atari. When black connects there is damezumari (shortage of liberties) and white takes 12 stones. That is more than enough to reverse the game. It is easy enough to read. When you are told about it you see it right away. Neither of us imagined that the throw in worked with that one liberty left. Now we know.

One other thing. I had been looking at the throw in for a while, but I was also concerned about my own weakness, which is what I do. If I had been more focused on my opponent’s weakness I may have seen it. 

Now, your assignment is to share in my shame, and observe every painful move of what could have been. I want this seared in my memory.

That’s all folks.

Another painful moment coming soon.

I will tell the story of how I forgot I was playing ko.

I Think I've Got a Student

Though I have been playing go for over fifty years I can't say that I have ever really had a student. I think I might have one now.

I gained this student because of COVID 19. He is a player in the DC area who is relatively new to the game, enjoys face to face play, and was trying to figure out how to join in with the online meetings of the National Go Center using KGS and Discord. The Discord element appeared to be the weak link.

After some discussion via email I convinced him that his best option might be playing on OGS, and I got him started with a 9x9 correspondence game. He was curious why I wanted him to play 9x9. I explained that I wanted him initially to play a short game to get used to the server. I also told him that there is value in 9x9 play. While we played our first couple of games I observed him playing with two other players near his own strength in 19x19 games.

Fast forward a few weeks and we are still playing 9x9. We are on our 9th game, and he keeps coming back for more. He calls me Go Master, which I find both flattering and amusing. 

He has the fighting spirit I used to have when I first started to play. My games against him include a lot of unnecessary carnage because I know he can handle it and eagerly come back for more. He has gained a real appreciation for 9x9. He has learned that there is nowhere to run, and that he must stand and fight. 

It had been my intention all along to review games over the phone, but that has not happened yet. I thought I would try to do a little teaching within the game itself on this one. Read the text in the image above to see. I think that after this game is over we should play that kill in the lower left out even if he takes my word for it.

I've also thought that it might make some sense to review some of his 19x19 games with players his own strength.

He is still trying.

Another Game Reversal Due to End Game Trouble

I was losing this game up until I played move 77 in the upper left. Black made the mistake of answering at e19 (a). Black should have given up the one stone and answered at b18 (b). If so, he would have easily kept his win in the bag.

After I played atari on the two black stones, black connected. Then I connected at b19, black threw in at a17, but it didn't help.

This is what happened.

I actually should be ashamed for playing move 87. Black has to play at d19 (a) before he can atari at a19 due to a shortage of liberties.

Though I did shamefully play at 87,  I did leave the position alone after that until later in the game when it was necessary to take. 

This game is still in process, but black is behind by about 18 points with only a few end game moves left to make. We were actually playing in real time when these exchanges took place.

I used to be the one falling for this kind of sequence in the end game. It feels good to be able to do it to someone else now.

End Game Trouble Secures Win

I am white.

My last move at a7 creates some real end game trouble for black. It will capture at least four stones for me. If black connects at b6 he will lose 7 stones after white plays at c8. The two moves preceding a7 were the simple atari at a3 followed by the connection at a5.

I will admit to not having set this up from the atari at a3, but I bask in the joy of seeing immediately the danger for black and the trouble caused by a7. For this I credit the Trouble Master lectures from the group lessons I am taking with Hwang In-seong. See my most recent post. Perhaps this might be a good Trouble Master problem three moves back.

This game was hard won. I am counting my chickens before they are hatched here because this game is still in progress, but it is feeling pretty certain. I had to fight back from a big loss in the upper right corner after misreading an attack.

I am practicing In-seong's advice to move ahead with something if I think of a move even if I can't read it out. I was told this in my group game last Thursday night. There was a move I had thought of but could not read it out, but it worked.  I saw something in the upper right in this game. This time I was wrong because of a shortage of liberties, but I recovered the game. Before the move at a7 I had recovered to the point where it was probably within a few points. It is still ongoing. After it ends I may post a link to it from OGS. Well that did not take long. I got a resignation very quickly. Here is the game.

Recently I ended another game with a kill that I might not have seen previously. I'll save that for another post. I'm going to be showing off the things I am proud of in my games. After all, this is a vanity blog.

I am Enjoying Group Lessons with Hwang In-Seong

I promised that my next blog post would be about the group lessons that I am taking.

Last summer at the U.S. Go Congress I attended the evening lectures of Hwang In-Seong who is a popular online go teacher with a go school that emulates the Korean Dojang training. I enjoyed the lectures and was interested in joining the group lessons. The thing that convinced me to move forward is that I knew that, regardless of what else I might get from these lessons, I would get five serious games a month that would be reviewed by a strong player.

Throughout my go life I have studied more than I have played, and I thought it was about time to achieve some balance by playing more, knowing that those games would get reviewed.

There is an American Yunguseng Dojang, and there is also a European Yunguseng Dojang. Since I am retired, and I do not enjoy playing at night, I thought about joining the European group, but decided to go with the American group because I would be getting to know people that I would actually be likely to encounter in real life at a Go Congress. Upon registration I discovered people there that I already know.

I want to start out by saying that the teaching is excellent. In-Seong, the main teacher, had me pegged from the first game, and has gotten to know me better with each game. Sometimes games are reviewed by a different teacher. In-Seong has a few teachers that help out, though he reviews most of the games himself. The other teachers do an excellent job as well. However, when In-Seong reviews you know that he is drawing on his memory of your strengths, weaknesses, and overall style. It is amazing how he can do that for so many students in the leagues. A won game is no guarantee of praise, by the way. It is more about what you are learning than what you are winning. I like that. He is very encouraging. But don't play a fast casual game. You will be called out on that. Until I got used to taking my time I would set my Apple Watch timer for ten seconds and not allow myself to play until the alarm went off. It worked.

The lessons are for students 12 kyu and stronger. Since I am 9 kyu AGA I thought that there would likely be a few people weaker than myself, but I am pretty much at the bottom of the barrel here. I started out in the lowest group. I managed to spend two months in the second lowest group recently, but I am back to the lowest group again. Games are easier for me in C3, but I prefer harder games and  losing in C2, so I hope I can get back there.

I am doing well this month in the C3 group with with a record of 2-0 so far. A friend of mine, Jaydee, is doing equally well. If we end up with an equal record, and someone does better than we, then I will win the tie breaker to move up because of initial placement in the league table. That is how I ended up moving down last month. There were three of us with equally low records.

Most games are played on a specified day. For the C Groups that day is Thursday at 8:00 PM Eastern time. The review takes place at 10:00 PM the same night. Reviews can last for more than two hours so I end up with a serious case of "go head" at midnight. It generally takes me at least two hours to wind down from the review, and I am often awake still at 3:00 AM. which is what happened this week because my game was last on the review list. If I am lucky and my game is early on the list I leave the review after my game and watch the remaining games when the review video is uploaded. At first I felt like I needed to stick around for all of the games because it seemed rude to leave, but being on the East Coast is a big disadvantage. I wish I lived on the West Coast. :-) Seattle would be nice.

It would actually be possible for someone to get a lot out of the leagues even if they were never in attendance during regular league times. Games can be played ahead of time by agreement. Reviews can be watched after the fact.  The only thing you would miss out on would be the opportunity to ask questions and respond to comments.

Part of the league membership includes hour long lectures on many topics. There are a few sample lectures on the web site which you can watch. There is an amazing collection of lectures from the past and more added each season.

A great part of the league membership is your personal page. Here is mine:

The personal page includes a table of games. I could barely get a screen capture of mine on the iPad by holding it in portrait mode.

The personal page also includes links to every one of your reviews. Here are reviews from the past three months.

You also get a graph of your progress in the leagues. I started out with an 800 rank and am now at 875. You can see a streak of five wins between games 20 and 25. That was when I rose from C3 to C2. You can see the subsequent crash down.

When you watch a recorded review it is possible to add comments. I have marked the starting point of my review in the video below so it is easy to find again. I have also taken note of homework which was given to me by In-Seong during the review. The starting point of the review of a friend is also indicated.

I highly recommend these group lessons. The next season won't be starting until September. Think about it. Maybe we can get a D group going in the American Dojang.

Playing Correspondence Games on OGS

I am continuing with revealing what is new in my go in the past five years.

One of the things that I have added to my go routine is playing on OGS, the Online Go Server. I do not play live games there though. I have taken a liking to correspondence games. I usually have up to ten games going at a time on the server. The reason I limit myself to ten games is because I like that the games are shown as thumbnails of the board positions. Beyond ten the games they are shown as a list, which does not display well on my iPad. Edit: Based on a comment to this post, which you can read in full,  I was informed that I can adjust a setting for the number of thumbnails that will display. I have increased that number to 20.

What I like about correspondence play is that there is nearly a limitless amount of time to consider each move. This makes it more likely that I will consider alternate moves before playing. That is a habit I need to develop in my live games on KGS.

Another thing I like about correspondence play is that every time I come back to a game I have to come back to it with fresh eyes because I have been playing nine other games simultaneously. Sometimes I even have to check to see what color I am playing.

Playing correspondence games reduce the likelihood that I will be caught up in the rhythm of the fast play of my opponent. Admittedly, this has happened on occasion when my opponent and I have been on the server at the same time, and have alternated play at a relatively fast pace.

Having ten games going at once increases the likelihood that you will be able to log on during a busy period and spend an hour making moves in multiple games with players who are online also. The first time this happened to me I thought, "This is as close as I am ever going to get to playing simul games like a pro." Funny thought. I had to laugh.

Correspondence games allow you to step back from a difficult situation and gain some psychic distance, but one can just as easily become obsessed with resolving a situation and stay up too late waiting for your opponent's next move. The game above is a case in point. I am white. I have killed the surrounded black group near the bottom of the board, but not until I struggled with it during the course of the day, and way too late into the evening. Then I lost a significant amount of sleep because I could not wind down.

This morning I woke thinking first thing of this game, and the fact that winning it is not a sure thing by any means. My opponent is stronger than I,  and she is tricky too. I see a corner in the lower right that can be invaded. I see a potential cut at o13. I worry a bit over the atari at g8, and wonder if it might cause trouble. That is probably not the case though. I need to do some reading about it; reading that I would not have time to do in a live game.

Gentle readers, please to not give me any hints. I want to win this one on my own.

My name on OGS is buzzsaw. If you play there, and you want a correspondence game, please message me and tell me that you have read my blog.

My next post will be about my new group lessons.

My Attendance At the U. S. Go Congress In Recent Years

A few things have happened in my go life since I had been blogging with any frequency five years ago. I'm going to spread out reporting on those things over the course of a few posts. I will start with reporting on my participation at the U.S. Go Congress.

After discontinuing lessons with Yilun Yang I stopped playing go altogether except for tournament games at the Congress. I was really only playing with Yang anyway, but all of a sudden I was not playing at all except across the board at the Go Congress. All of my other tournament opportunities had dried up. The New Jersey Open was defunct, and there was nothing else nearby.

I continued to attend the Go Congress in the past few years with relative frequency, but I did miss a few.

I was at the 2014 Go Congress in New York City. This was one of my favorite Congress venues.

I was not in attendance at the 2015 Go Congress in the Twin Cities, so I went for two years without playing a game.

I attended the 2016 Go Congress in Boston. I took Amtrak. It was a great Congress.

I was not in attendance at the 2017 Go Congress in San Diego, so I had another two years without playing go.

I attended the 2018 Go Congress in Williamsburg where I did poorly and dropped back to double digit kyu for the first time in quite a few years. I had been 8 kyu for a brief moment in time, but had maintained a solid 9 kyu rating even without playing for a number of years.

I attended the 2019 Go Congress in Madison. It was time to fight back to 9 kyu. I was not sure that I could do it because, true to form, I had not played a single game in the year since the previous congress. My 10 kyu rank, however, was just a squeak lower than 9 kyu, so I did have a competitive edge. I managed to use that advantage and take 2nd place in the 10 kyu rank with a record of 4-2. Pictured with me here, at the top of the post, is one of my opponents, Gary, who I played in the 6th round. He beat me to take 3rd place in the 10 kyu rank. If I had won that game I would have still been in 2nd place and Gary would not have been in 3rd place, so I am glad he won. Gary was in a similar position as I, having recently squeaked down into the double digit kyu territory. We were the sandbaggers, and we came face to face in the 6th round.

My win in Madison convinced me that it was time to resume play and study. There will be more to come on that in my next post.

I'm Back

It has been over five years since I have posted.

More to follow.

Stay tuned.

My 4k? Rank

I failed.

I failed in meeting my goal to play seven games this week.

I failed because I played a game last night fully expecting to lose that game to become a 6k without a question mark after my rank. If I had lost that game I would have cheerfully gone on to play the remaining three games I needed to meet my goal of seven rated games for the week and I would have probably finished the night as a 6k or a 7k.

However, I am now 4k with a question mark because I won what should have been the first of four games last night, but which turned out to be the ONLY game last night.

It was a typical game for me. BenGoZen ran into me on the server and clicked through the game to take a look at it. I played the Chinese Opening as I often do as black. Ben said that it was a peaceful game, and that I managed to hold my lead well. I told him that it is typical for my games to be peaceful unless my opponent complicates things. That is fine as long as one is ahead, and in this game I believe I was. I told BenGoZen the story of how I earned the name buzzsaw by fighting back with a vengeance when someone complicated a game. My opponent called me "Lady Buzzsaw" and I liked it.

Here is the board position at the end of the game that earned me my 4k? rating:

Look at that huge black moyo.

The lesson that I took away from Ben's analysis of my game was that it might have been better to sacrifice the two stones at n14 and o14 rather than run with the group the way I did.

My rank graph won't start adding data points again until I get rid of that question mark, which is motivation enough to do so. I know it is hard to see the green line on the chart below, but it starts up at 5k over a year ago, and for about nine months it hangs in there at 8k. My graph has the peaks and valleys that come from playing just enough rated games to keep my rating active, usually with the 6k rank bot, who is a reasonable player. This is the pattern that I want to break now.

I should have played the remaining three games I needed to meet my goal, but I am weak. When I told Ben I wanted to leave the rank in place for a day or two he understood and told me that I need not be in a hurry, so I feel okay about my decision.

Perhaps later today or tomorrow I will lose the rated game I must lose to stabilize my rank. I will definitely play it soon. I should probably play it before my lesson with Yilun Yang on Thursday. I wouldn't want to set up any unrealistic expectations by presenting him with that crazy 4k? rank. It would be much better if I had settled in at 6k by the time my lesson rolls around.

See This Problem Again In 120 Days

Today when I was doing my problem for the Training System from Guo Juan's Internet Go School I had a problem that I had seen often enough, and I found easy enough, that I would not see it again in 120 days. That's pretty cool.

I have my share of problems that I must click the "forgotten" button for. Don't get me wrong. I don't remember everything. But when you remember something well enough not to have to see it again for 120 days it feels good.

I love the big pig's snout.

I've had an incredibly busy week because I picked up my new MacBook Pro last Tuesday, so I missed a couple days of problem training, but the system allows for that.

I need to play some games today. In order to meet my goal for playing seven rated games this week I must play four games before tomorrow morning. I will probably sit down and play them all at once in the evening.

My 5k? Rank

I wanted to preserve the memory of my brief time as a 5k on KGS, even if it was as a 5k with a question mark attached.

I ran into my good go buddy, Charles, on the server this morning. We spent a little time looking at the last few moves of the final game I played yesterday. It was a shameful game during which I allowed my opponent to gain a 50 point lead. The game was over and there was really nothing to do. But I saw a weakness, and I made a few plays to try to exploit it. I was successful. 

He resigned, but Score Estimate shows me ahead by over 20 points when he resigned. That means that my desperate plays created a 70 point swing in the game. He had a huge moyo, which I destroyed.

If you are interested in seeing the game you can find it easily on my KGS Analytics page for the games I played yesterday. Just click on the third game. It is the one with popo.

I played horribly in this game, and I know it. It is not a game to be proud of. I just managed to pull something off at the end. That always feels fine.

Charles asked me if I was getting over my playing phobia. I told him that I was feeling a lot better about it. Charles shared his secret with me. He said that the real secret is not to care. I think he is right.

Just to make it easy to see what happened at the end of this game, here is a screen shot of the board before I started to make trouble. Look at that huge black moyo.

And here is a screen capture of how the board looked at the time of resignation.

I Played Three Rated Games Today

It was my plan to play a few rated games and get a real rating again.

I played a game and won it. That made me 7k?

I played another game and won that one too. That made me 6k?

Then I figured I would play one more game and lose it, and I would have a real rating. How could I beat a 6k player?

I had a lost game. Everything was going according to plan, and then at the end I tried to complicate things, and my opponent resigned.

So now I am 5k? and I am REALLY afraid to play, so I stopped for the night. I'll play again tomorrow, but I just had to stop for the night. The last game I played was played way too fast and it was kind of funny.